my next 30 years

"I think turning 30 is worse than turning 40." -that's a statement that has escaped my lips on numerous occasions. I always felt like stating your age when it begins with something other than Twenty... meant a lot of things. It means you're supposed to be a grown up, you're supposed to be well on your way down the path of success, you're supposed to have a family, a home, it means Stability. The expectations that I personally linked with future birthday's intimidated me. Was I going to have it all together in time, would my parents be proud of who I became? I put a big load on the big 30.

But as this number steadily drew near, my fears steadily faded. Am I sad to see my twenties go? A little, but just because I had such a fabulous time. College, a wedding, driving crappy cars, living in crappy places, moving to the woods, becoming a Mother, buying a beautiful home, begin a career, watching my husband succeed. Fabulous times do not come without hard times. I am thankful for the valleys. I am strong for enduring the storms. My faith has proved Him over and over. For me, twenties are a time of change, beginnings, lessons, growing up, reality...

Am I grown up? yes but I don't want to act like one all the time. Do I have it all together? absolutely not, but I've got a better grip. Family? Home and Job? - oh yes and what a huge blessing. I know my parents are proud of me, and I'd like to think my Father in Heaven is putting together a lovely crown for me to wear one day. I have So Much To Be Thankful For.

My hope for the next decade is to enjoy all these blessings, lessons. To know and express gratitude for life, for my parents, my family and for my friends. I intend to seek joy and humor. I intend to be a fabulous wife. I intend to soak up every glorious moment of being a Mama. I intend to return all the love, plus some that I've been So Fortunate to receive the last 30 years.

30 isn't so bad... even 39 weeks pregnant.

Sentimental Nursery

Welcome to Baby Girls nursery! I live so far away, I thought you all might like a little tour. My Mama made the curtains and let me use the beautiful white crib she intended for Her house. My Grandma Syboda bought the mobile in 1976. This mobile has sung all of us to sleep (Jenny, Me, Andrew, Beau, Will and now Baby). It is something I will grab if there is a fire.

The giraffe print is from my Aunt NeeNee, the blue mason jars were collected by my Mama and Daddy a long time ago. The rocking chair is from Mike's childhood where Mama Judy spend countless hours rocking him and Melodee together. The little dress and petticoat are from Aunt Jenny, they are new but come with childhood memories we share.

The cheetah print is from Grandma and Grandpa Wilmoth. I understand it was given to them as a gift during a mission trip to Africa. It is an original piece and I love it. The lamp was bought for me in 1986 in a really old dance hall turned flea market in Northwest Pennsylvania where Lucille Ball once danced. The crown on top is from my wedding rehearsal.

These blankets are a combination of hand made and gifts for Baby Girl, some are very old and some very new. It seems as though my friends and family knew I was having a baby girl before I did and also knew what would coordinate with her funky, whimsy, eclectic, sentimentally sappy bedroom!!

I love this room. I love my memories. I love this Baby.

baby update

I went to the doctor yesterday. An ultrasound was already scheduled to check on her and her weight. As an added bonus, the ultra-sweet ultrasound tech took some of those (a little freaky in my opinion) 3D photos!! Those photos make it all VERY real. I have prints, but no electronic copy to post for ya'll to see. Sorry. She has very chubby cheeks and was sleeping soundly all tucked up. She is definitely still a she (we checked) and she does look like Beau. I think she's pretty. She is weighing in at 37weeks, 6lbs and 4oz they tell me that's in the 41st percentile and right on track for her gestational age. She is perfect. They did not move the due date, but it makes me feel good to know she's a decent (certainly survivable) size if something should happen and she shows up a bit early. My blood pressure is perfect this time and my doctor actually gave me a compliment that I was doing really well with my weight. Awesome.

This pregnancy in general has been more difficult than Beau's however I do remember feeling really crappy at this point with him - due to swelling and BP issues. I'm not nearly as bad off this time. Thank you Jesus. This week it started to become uncomfortable to pick up and carry Beau - something to be expected but still a little upsetting. Being wallered by a toddler isn't delightful, but we still try to read stories together and get through it.

I can say Baby's bedroom is ready to roll, Beau's new big boy bedroom is also cutie-patootie. I'll post photos soon. This makes me feel more prepared and the nesting has temporarily subsided. My bags are in the truck and we have our plan of action for Beau patrol during labor/delivery. I also have a plan if Mike is out of town with track. I'm feeling prepared, I've done all I know to do... I have to admit I'm laying awake at night trying not to cry having flashbacks of the horrible birth experience I had with Beau. I pray all the time, I discuss with Jenny how it will be so much better, I have an idea what to expect, but I'm just scared. Not a fan of the birth process in general. My babies are worth it times a million, but I'd prefer to be unconscious and wake up with a bundle in my arms.